mental\ masturbation

mental\ masturbation
1. (Mental Masturbation) (7481↑, 1395↓)
Intellectual activity that serves no practical purpose.

We debated and created a perfect system of government, but it was all just mental masturbation, really.

2. (Mental masturbation) (250↑, 80↓)
the act of engaging in intelligent and interesting conversation purely for the enjoyment of your own greatness and individuality. Subjects range from obscure lp's to cultural movements in preindustrial societies. Either delivered through grand monlogues or subtle conversation orientation, it links large words and random references resulting in nothing acually being communicated.

Though the influence of Ric Okasisk was quite evident within Weezer's blue album, rivers coumo domination of the lyrical form seem quite evident in Pinkerton

3. (Mental Masturbation) (309↑, 148↓)
The act of engaging in useless yet intellectually stimulating conversation, usually as an excuse to avoid taking constructive action in your life.

Guy 1: "If only I had taken Cindy to my high school prom, I could have fucked her instead of that loser Jeff and then now she would be my girlfriend." Guy 2: "Dude, stop that mental masturbation right now and go out and meet a new girl\!"

4. (Mental Masturbation) (73↑, 42↓)
Intellectual activity that serves no practical purpose. Excessively theoretical, and therefore a distraction from more practicable matters.

Dr. Richard Dawkins, noted biological theorist, in response to a student's philosophical question about skeptical attitudes towards science and reality, cited the following anecdote: \<paraphrasing\> James Boswell asked, "... nothing really exists unless there's somebody there to see it. How do you refute that?" Samuel Johnson replied, "I refute it thus\!", and kicked a stone out of his way. \<\\paraphrasing\> Dr. Dawkins, commenting on Boswell's question, and critiquing the attitude: "If you want to mess about with that sort of mental masturbation, thats fine, but, ... but the science of reality is what gets you through the day, ... and makes things work\!"

5. (mental masturbation) (69↑, 55↓)
Overly intensive self gratifying procrastination, thought and contemplation for a subject not necessarily warranting such effort.

"Let's quit the mental masturbation here, its a waste of time..."

6. (Mental Masturbation) (0↑, 6↓)
This is usually announced or thought of after seeing a girl who is distractingly attractive. The act of explaining you like the looks of a girl enough to masturbate too.

See, she's hot dude I'm going to ask her out. Yea I'm masturbating in my head to her. I fucking hate you. I'm still masturbating in my head to her. Still not done, not done, Alright I'm done. I'm going to go make a sandwich. Good Mental Masturbation. Actually, you want to go to Chipotle? Not with you. Thats douchey.

7. (mental masturbation) (14↑, 38↓)
The act of engaging in impractical/nonproductive mental exercise/thinkings/writings through which a practitioner only comforts oneself mentally. Such acts don't lead to any constructive results what so ever in the real world; some might even imagine oneself being transformed into superman, or simply the opposite sex, etc. In short, it's just bs/crap.

Example1: Guy1: My boyfriend went abroad so I can take over all his stuff and start anew. Guy2: Dude, you're the same person all along; stop that mental masturbation and get the hell out of my sight. Example2: Guy1: I think biological evolution is bull, but mankind can evolve to become God. Guy2: Dude, you're all fucked up; you can go on with your mental masturbation, but stop bordering me anymore.

8. (mental masturbation) (15↑, 39↓)
To perform some activity, typically IT related, where performing the activity gives the performer almost sexual pleasure while doing it, yet nothing of any value or lasting value is produced. Mental masturbation is reasonably acceptable in the privacy of the performer's home, but not on their employer's time. Mental masturbation may be the reason for overly complicated and hard to understand solutions being implemented in one company, despite simpler and more commonly understood solutions being used at a number of other companies in the same industry.

To workmate, on Monday morning, "Guess what I did over the weekend\! I rewrote Linux in FORTAN\! Cool huh\!" Workmate, unimpressed, "That sounds like mental masturbation to me."

9. (mental masturbation) (38↑, 64↓)
The act of engaging in impractical/nonproductive mental exercise / thinkings / writings / etc., through which a practitioner only comforts oneself mentally. Such acts don't lead to any constructive results what so ever in the real world; some might even imagine oneself being transformed into superman, or simply the opposite sex, etc. In short, it's just bs/crap.

Example1: Guy1: My boyfriend went abroad so I can take over all his stuff and start anew. Guy2: Dude, you're the same person all along; stop that mental masturbation and get the hell out of my sight. Example2: Guy1: I think biological evolution is bull, but mankind can evolve to become God. Guy2: Dude, you're all fucked up; you can go on with your mental masturbation, but stop bordering me anymore.

10. (mental masturbation) (18↑, 46↓)
1. In academics it is the practice of using faulty premises to draw a conclusion. 2. The pretense of superior knowledge or intelligence by claiming conjecture, theory, feeling or opinion as fact.

The facts used to describe the cause of Global warming is an exercise in mental masturbation.

11. (Mental Masturbation) (9↑, 37↓)
The term coined by the promising new hope of psychology. Christopher, the surefire future of psychological theory, defines this term as the psychosexual pleasure that one receives from playing mind games with others. Christopher is a godsend to psychology.

I am, however, at the point in my life where I do not need to subject myself to the “mental masturbation” which envelopes your games.

12. (mental masturbation) (11↑, 45↓)
To perform some activity, typically IT related, where performing the activity gives the performer near sexual pleasure while doing it, yet nothing of any value or lasting value is produced. Mental masturbation is reasonably acceptable in the privacy of the performer's home, where their time is free (in money terms), but not on their employer's time. Mental masturbation can be the cause and reason for overly complicated and hard to understand IT solutions being implemented in one company, despite simpler, more commonly understood and tried and tested solutions to the same problem being used at a number of other companies in the same industry.

To workmate, on Monday morning, "Guess what I did over the weekend\! I rewrote Linux in FORTAN\! Cool huh\! Next weekend I'm going to rewrite it in COBOL\!" Workmate, unimpressed, "That sounds like mental masturbation to me."

13. (Mental Masturbation) (23↑, 61↓)
The act of figuring out why the world is fucked up, but that you can't do anything about it... but bitch and moan\!\!\! See [Intellectual Jizz]

I know what to do about the middle east situation Dude stop. That is just Mental Masturbation.

14. (mental masturbation) (16↑, 72↓)
v. the act of [masturbating] with and only with your mind, totally not sexy

Oh man, performed some mental masturbation last night releasing mind bullets on my couch

Related: bullshit, masturbation, mental, mindwank, nonsense, brain, crap, mindfwap, complex, fapping, idiot, intellectual, intellectual jizz, masterbation, math, philosophy, psychic
Last updated: 2012.03.01

Urban English dictionary. 2013.

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